Out With The Old. In With The... New?

2009 is starting out full of loss.

I mentioned Jerry Mac in my previous post. The 18 year old young man paralyzed from the collarbone down after taking a header off a dirt bike on the 2nd day of this new year. I visited him once and am wishing for a miracle for his complete recovery. It will be a long year - or years - for him and his family, but the one thing they know they have that is most critical is HOPE. I know too well what it's like to live without that most important piece. I hope to support them through this struggle in some way, and run in his honor - along with Charlie, of course.

On the 9th day of this new year, my last remaining colleague in the Localization Department where I work resigned for a better job and a chance to work back in Asia. I took ScottC and his beautiful young Thai wife to lunch that day and wished them well. I'm literally the last man standing in department that once had a multimillion dollar budget and almost 30 people. It makes me feel incredibly vulnerable in these days of cost-cutting. I know. I'm not alone.

On the 12th day of this new year, my angel for years said goodbye. I am forever grateful for this angel who basically saved my life and taught me how to live and love again. If you have ever been blessed with such an angel in your life you will know what I'm talking about. Maybe angels are not meant to stay forever. Maybe that's why they have wings. That's all I'll say.

There are other ominous signs of loss looming in 2009.

Job cuts and investment losses are mounting and threatening everyone across the world. Barack, buddy, I wish you the courage to reshape this world to something more sustainable, humane and compassionate.

Much more closer to home, and much more important really, our beloved dog, Sali, is literally on her last legs. She is a mix between a golden retriever and some smaller dog. Jeremi got a 'coupon from Santa' good for One Dog Of Your Choice in 1986. She picked out this fully grown dog from the CARE (Companion Animal Rescue Effort) in Santa Clara one Saturday on the way home from Japanese school. They didn't know how old she was, but she had been 'mistreated' and walked with a little twist in her back legs. Now her rear right leg appears useless and is practically falling off. Arthritis has crippled her but she can still walk. Her eyes are both milky white from cataracts. She lost a front tooth on the floor near her bed last week. She doesn't eat much of anything anymore but biscuits and hot dogs, if that, so she isn't taking her pain or arthritis medicine either. She is skinny and weak and sometimes falls down on the slippery pergo kitchen floor and can't get up. Her face fur is almost completely white. She's lost control of her bowels for the most part, too, and is leaving a trail of loose poop on the carpet every morning now.
The signs are all there and certainly I don't want her to suffer. Yet, she'll still try to walk to the ocean or Derby Park and back. She'll still bark at other dogs she meets during her walk - even at imagined dogs that really aren't there. She'll still wag her tail when I pet her. She'll still move her feet and legs while she sleeps, dreaming of chasing a tennis ball (or better prey) perhaps. I look up in our living room at the self-portrait close-up photograph Charlie took of his face with his 'Wild Card' Red Sox cap on next to a younger more vibrant Sali. I go to snuggle Sali, and she'll still lick the tears off my face when I do.

You never know.